Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day-Review

You know, if Disney wanted to just shut down forever, they could have after Frozen. There is little need to continue after what some people are calling the best Disney film, and even, one of the best movies ever made, period! Disney itself seems to know that as well, as they apparently made a movie about a kid who has only atrocious days, and somehow through a magic candle, causes his whole family to also experience the worst day ever.

I want to get this over with as soon as possible, so let’s hop right into the decent stuff first. Oh, wait! There is not much I liked about this movie except for two (count ‘em TWO) jokes in a film that calls itself a comedy! Nothing else is worth noting. Well, looks like that only leaves room for the negative moments and there are a lot of them.

Ok, the whole story is made up of five family members and their adventures and escapades. While the settings for four of those areas are clichéd and dumb enough, the way the basic premise begins really irritates me. Alexander makes a wish that all of his family could experience a truly awful day so they could relate to him more. Whoa, stop right there! This kid essentially just said, “I’m sick of being dumped on, so I’m going to wish my pain upon my family and see how they like it!” Um, what? If you’re trying to make me connect to the character that usually gets the short end of the stick, then do not make him cause the other characters misery! Back to the story. Most of the conflicts solve themselves in a very ridiculous way that I would never expect to see in real life. Speaking of real life, how about the overused high school drama and prom night plot points? For some reason, Disney, who brought us Tangled, The Lion King, and Bambi, needed to use the generic premises of: prom night, meeting a deadline for an impatient boss, and the hard knocks of a school boy trying to fit in (and win the heart of a pointless love interest to boot). Quite a step down, people.

I was interested in seeing where Bella Thorne’s (Shake it Up!) career would go after the show ended. The answer? Nowhere, that’s where! Much like Josh Peck (Drake and Josh), she has hardly made anything significant besides this film, and even here she plays an annoying, clichéd, whiny, moronic, typical drama queen I’ve seen in every other high school movie! Again, this is Disney! The people who made characters like: Flynn Rider, Elsa, Dori, Judge Claude Frollo and Mulan for Pete’s sake! The comedy (as I stated before) just dies. The slapstick is poor, supposed to be funny scenes are just awkward, and the references to better forms of media are just unnecessary. A few of these being: a Seinfeld rip-off, an obvious Dumb and Dumber reference, and, the (could have been funny if it wasn’t for the trailer) Wreck it Ralph reference. Few (if any) kids will get these, and this movie does not even deserve these references. Finally, the title. I believe in movie titles, and if I gave grades to film titles, this would get an F! I’ve never seen a title that long, especially in a Disney movie!  Also, the title is misleading. By the second act of the film, the focus is hardly ever on Alexander. The beginning makes it seem like it is, but believe me, by the end of the movie, you couldn’t care less about that kid. Wait a minute! There is one thing I haven’t touched on, the moral. In every kid’s movie there must be one right? Well, allow me to say, they executed it so poorly, that I predicted it by the first 10 minutes.

In conclusion, this is a poor attempt to tide us over until Big Hero 6 comes out. Try to avoid this movie as strongly as possible. This gets Guy’s Guru Grade of a F.

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