Sinister 2 Review

Should I even be surprised that yet, another cheaply made horror movie is getting a completely pointless sequel? Sinister 2 (groan) is directed by Ciarán Foy and written by Scott Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill. Stars-James Ransone, and Shannyn Sossamon. Premise-During his mission to burn down all the cursed Bughuul (I think that’s how it’s spelled) houses he can find, Deputy So-So (Ransone) from the previous film discovers one house is now occupied by a woman (Sossamon) and her two sons. Now he must try to save them from the evil within.

This movie is awful! Plain and simple. I’m aware that Sinister isn’t the best horror movie ever, but given how little a budget it had, I am very pleased with how it came out. Clever ideas, cool editing techniques, solid acting, and (most importantly) a suspenseful and terrifying tone throughout. Nice to see that the filmmakers brought none of that to the sequel. The only thing I like about Sinister 2 was one creative murder scene. It’s disturbing and inventive. However, that doesn’t really amount to much because everything else just fails!

Let’s start with the obvious question, is this movie scary? Heck no (yet another 2015 movie that failed its primary job). The movie’s opening copies the first movie’s opening and immediately follows with a cheap jump scare. Speaking of which, this movie contains THE WORST JUMPSCARES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A HORROR MOVIE! Not only are they jump scares (the most overused cliché in all of horror), but they are the laziest kind: false scares. You know, “someone looks in a crevice because they heard a creepy noise and a rat jumps out at them”, or, “something appears behind a character and they turn around only to discover nothing there.” Every one of those scares is accompanied by the loudest screeching sound effects ever used in a horror film! Holy crap, those freaking sound effects are everywhere in this movie! Why do film editors still think that counts as a creative way to frighten audiences? It’s lazy and just annoying at this point.  The sound effects are so loud, my ears physically hurt on one occasion.

“How is the story?” you might ask. Oh, you mean the massive explosion of 70s horror movie clichés that the writers thought could pass for a script (and surprisingly did)? I mean it; they use nearly every trope in the book, except whenever they steal from The Exorcist, Halloween (1978), or Children of the Corn (1984). Speaking of lackluster writing, the characters in this movie suck. The mother is bland, the sons are annoying, and everyone else is a complete jerk. The only character we could have been rooting for is the Deputy. However, his character is just boring. Do you want to know how I know the writers didn’t give a crap when making this movie? Are you ready? They never give the Deputy a name! That’s right, the main character of the movie, and they couldn’t be bothered to give him a real name. I mean, they may have shown his actual name on a phone screen when he texts one of the sons, but even that is lazy as heck. What could have saved these characters would be some superb acting. We don’t get that either (surprised?). My gosh, the actors in this movie makes Tara Reid look like Meryl Streep! Look at Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance in the original Halloween. You believed she was scared for her life, and subsequently, you could feel the terror. In Sinister 2, the actors hardly ever break their bland facial expressions. Even when they are being hunted by a killer, they still look disinterested and subsequently, I was disinterested. Sossamon is especially horrible. Sometimes she has a southern accent and sometimes she doesn’t (was she taking acting lessons from Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter?).

Sinister 2 is the perfect example of why I hate sequels. Studio executives just want to cash in on something that proved financially successful once, and at the same time cut back on effort in order to make even more money. Everything about this movie sucks. The acting, story, editing, and directing is terrible. This movie is honestly worse than Annabelle. Why? Because even though Annabelle was mostly just boring (with a few hilariously bad moments), Sinister 2 tries to be scary while at the same time, not putting in any effort. Avoid this movie at all costs. Sinister 2 gets Guy’s Guru Grade of an F.

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