The Boss Review

“To review a bad comedy, is one of the toughest things to review.  Because there’s only so many times you can say, ‘that’s not funny.’” — Doug Walker (from his Nostalgia Critic – Master of Disguise review).  No, I’m not using this quote to excuse the short nature of this review, or because I’m lazy.  That quote pretty much sums up my entire experience with the: boring, overdone, unfunny, pointless, awkward, terribly stupid “comedy,” The Boss.

The Boss is directed by Ben Falcone and written by: Ben Falcone, Melissa McCarthy, and Steve Mallory.  Stars-Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Bell, Peter Dinklage, and Ella Anderson.  Premise-After a wealthy business woman is sent to prison for *insert financial fraud law here,* all of her assets are frozen and she is left homeless.  She seeks the help of her once-secretary Claire, and realizes that she can use Claire’s amazing baking skills (and her daughter’s Girl Scout troop) to create a new business empire.

After the universally hated Tammy, I guess Ben Falcone (McCarthy’s husband and director of Tammy) thought everyone would like a sequel to it.  Seriously, this movie is awful.  Falcone seems like a nice dude (and he married one of the most charming, and funny comedians/actresses out there), but his skills as a writer/director are very lackluster.  The Boss clearly proves that.

The writing for this movie is-in one word-infantile.  The jokes are all vulgar, and most of the time the jokes are just McCarthy swearing in front of little girls.  C’mon man, that is the kind of overdone, cheap comedy that Will Arnett would use, not Melissa McCarthy, who (when given a clever script) can generate extreme levels of laughter.  In Spy or Identity Thief, her dialog wasn’t just swearing, offending remarks, or insults, they were varied and clever.  In The Boss, nearly every joke is vulgar and immature.  There is literally a four minute long scene of McCarthy and Bell “comically” feeling each other up (because of poor bra choices), no offense to people with 12-year-old senses of humor, but only people with 12-year-old senses of humor would find that tedious scene funny.  Speaking of tedious, there are so many scenes that drag on in this movie.  That wouldn’t happen if the pace sped up a bit.  The movie’s only an hour and a half long, but it felt like two and a half since it takes forever for the plot to progress.

The rest of the story is built on clichés and littered with plot holes, the characters are bland, and I didn’t care about anything going on because of that.  By the way, Peter Dinklage is in this movie, he plays a perverted creep business mogul who has the hots for McCarthy.  Do you need any more details than that to know that his character is terrible?  Let’s just call it the biggest waste of Peter Dinklage since Pixels.  The rest of the acting isn’t much better, especially around the third act.  We get a few SNL cameos (all of which are wasted potential), and the supporting cast really isn’t trying.

I told you this review was going to be short.  It’s not funny, plain and simple.  The only times I laughed was during scenes that bordered on funnily over-the-top and awkwardly disturbing (most of the time it was the latter), and nearly all of my laughter was uncomfortable laughter.  I haven’t even seen Hardcore Henry, but I can guarantee you that it would be much better to watch that instead of The Boss, which gets Guy’s Guru Grade of a D.

BTW, I got a Twitter!  I will post quick updates there, as well as mini-reviews of movies I have watched (or recently watched) but won’t write a whole review for.  Check it out here!

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