“Really? Another online millennial complaining about remakes? Let me guess: he hates the Ghostbusters remake, lives in his parents’ basement, and thinks his opinion is the only correct one.” Hey! I’m moving into a dorm in August… Anyway, let’s talk about something that has been punching my frontal lobe for over 2 years. I kept my patience during Maleficent, I tolerated a remake that added just as many problems as it fixed (Cinderella 2015), I gave Jon Favreau the proper praise for his Jungle Book, and I’ve completely forgotten Pete’s Dragon (2016). However, what I, and most others judging by the reactions, did not know was that Disney had been planning a massive “remake” franchise. This very concept infuriates my creative core, and this post is essentially going to be an informal essay on why I believe so. If anyone wants to challenge my undeniably logical arguments, then make your way to the comments, where I eagerly await to enter “YouTube comment debater” mode! In all seriousness, I’d really appreciate your feedback with these projects; it’s one of the best ways to learn. Rant time!
As we all know, Walt Disney was (among many things) a brilliant businessman. While fighting his way through war, financial insecurity, securing the rights to stories he wanted to tell, and starting his business, Disney was diligently creating one of the world’s most diversified, universal, influential, powerful, profitable, and successful companies in the history of man. However, the company had to start somewhere. Before you think this post is a biography of Walt Disney, fear not. This is only context for how we got to present day Disney, because the film portion of Disney Studios was based off of adapting previously published stories. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937), Cinderella (1950), Sleeping Beauty (1959), and many others were all books with similar settings. All Disney did was adapt them into animated films for child audiences, but oh, did he do it well. It took very little time for the business to launch, fast-forward about a century or so, and we are at present day.
Mickey Mouse is kicking butts and taking names. After procuring Marvel and Lucasfilm, they’ve had an almost monopoly-like control over the box office. If you add the box office gross of The Jungle Book (2016), Captain America: Civil War, Finding Dory, and Zootopia, you get over 4.1 BILLION dollars! Do you know how much money that is? Disney certainly does, because they have greenlit over 5 completely unnecessary live-action remakes of their classic films. Take note that only 1 out of those 4 movies was not based off a familiar product (Zootopia). This brings me to my first argument (no, it’s not because these movies “ruined my childhood”); these remakes have no point.
To properly explain what makes a great remake, let’s talk about the greatest film remake of all time, John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). I read John W. Campbell Jr.’s Who Goes There? (the short story the movie is based on), I watched The Thing from Another World (1951), and I watched Carpenter’s 1982 remake, if there is anyone who understands this story, it’s me. What I find fascinating is that Carpenter’s version is more faithful to the short story than the first film. The Thing from Another World is passable, but it has many problems. So, what does horror master Mr. Carpenter (hot off of Halloween and Escape from New York) do? Take what made the original work, update the production design, add more character development, and pull no punches. If you haven’t seen The Thing, please get yourself a copy and watch it because it’s one of the top ten best horror movies of all time. This is because the material was updated for a newer audience, and the idea behind the remake wasn’t, “Hey, let’s capitalize on something we know made money before!” The Thing (and others like Scarface, True Grit, and both Magnificent Seven films) proved that remakes can be even better than the original. So why then is a company known for its creativity and creating warm childhood memories deciding to rehash those memories under the guise of calling them “reimaginings?” The short answer is that guy in the title picture. The long answer is more complicated.
In my minor experience, Hollywood likes to play it safe. The pattern is so universal, audiences expect to see crap in January, blockbusters in the summer months, and Oscar-bait come September. I somewhat understand this (school’s out in summer, take advantage of more people having more time), but at some point, it becomes a very dangerous tradition. I’m sick of companies refusing new ideas in place of making money, especially if they have too much already (just think of the last production logo you saw on the big screen). I want to show you this tweet by CinemaSins. This is what ticks me off the most. How many Pulp Fiction/La La Land/Inception scripts were rejected in place of giving us a remake that really has no purpose? What about the next Steven Spielberg who was left in the waiting room? Sheesh, The Blair Witch Project was made with sixty-thousand dollars, Star Wars cost $11 million, Hell or High Water required $12 million, and the list goes on. At this point, “Hollywood is out of ideas” is a freaking punchline due to how many retreads we get. However, there is hope, in the form of the person reading this post right now.
Check out this screenshot from Rotten Tomatoes (taken a month ago).
The audience has a lot of control over what is made for them. This is a no-brainer, you pay money for a certain thing, and more of that thing is made for you (supply and demand). These companies are merely giving the people what they want. In the case of positive feedback vs financial revenue, the greenbacks always win. Because of this, the response is not the problem, that 98% is. I’m not saying it’s your fault that these sterile remakes are popular (there are so many variables at play), but it is your responsibility to be a “smart shopper” as it were. One of the main reasons I review movies is to help people decide if something is worth their valuable time and hard-earned money. Some movies are torture for me to sit through (Vacation 2015), some are delights (Kung Fu Panda 3), and some are just bland and generic (most modern remakes), but the knowledge in knowing that someone is listening keeps me going. As someone who writes proactively and wants to make movies, it pains me to see the same thing over and over. What I’m talking about today may not be as horrid as Freddy Got Fingered or Norm of the North, but while those were original products that faded away because of their awfulness, these remakes are setting a trend that smaller, greedier executives will follow, and… it’s a dang shame.
In conclusion, I hope that you now have an understanding as to why I despise this business practice. Throughout writing this, this thought never left my head, “Perhaps I’m just stating a clichéd criticism. Maybe all of this will not change anyone’s mind.” However, I don’t care. It feels good to finally get my thoughts out there in a formal fashion. Even if I have no impact, movies could be much, much worse. At the end of the day, the audience decides what to spend money on. I leave you with this, what film will you support? A prettily-disguised cash grab, or a work of ambition that doesn’t fit into “the norm?”